What it means to be a working, single(ish) mama of 2

IMG_2006_2So. Whit’s gone more than he is home. I am fully supportive of this, and I’m so so so proud of him! It’s unbelievable how much success Old Dominion is suddenly having. And Whit Sellers is a good man. I am a lucky girl for having such a supportive, loving husband. But it does change our reality a bit when he has to be away from us for so much time. He was home for the first week of Will’s little life, and since then it’s been a couple of days at a time, every week or couple of weeks. And I really am not complaining – my husband is not deployed. He is not on a secret mission that I can’t know about. He’s on a stadium tour, playing for huge crowds and getting to do some really really really cool stuff. Like I said, I’m so proud of you, babe! BUT with that comes a lot of logistics. A lot of planning. And for me, a lot of missed sleep! I wanted to write something like this so I would look back on this time in my life and laugh, and be thankful, and also probably have a few thoughts of “how the heck did I do that?” So here goes.

 

To me, being a single(ish) working mama means…

Going to bed late, getting up throughout the night, and then getting up early, with no chance for a nap

Calling it a successful morning when I can leave the house with both kiddos fed before 7, and run back into the house less than 3 times to grab something I forgot (most likely a “show and share” item for Lucy or extra diapers for Will)

Packing EVERYTHING for the next day before I go to bed, right down to preparing the coffee and putting food in the dog bowls

Teaching my daughter to independently go potty, wash hands, and brush teeth before she comes up the steps in the morning because those are three things I don’t have time to argue about before work

Dropping kids off at daycare when they open at 7, and sometimes not making it back that day until closer to closing time

Pumping, eating breakfast, and talking on speaker phone…on the way to work

Hearing from the back seat, “Great job pumping, mama! You really got a lot out this morning!”

Relishing that little bit of mama and kiddo time between the end of the work day and the start of bedtime, when we can draw, play ponies, sing to Will, or just snuggle on the couch…and not do housework

Making dinner while nursing a baby

Helping a toddler get dressed while nursing a baby

Answering emails while nursing a baby

Brushing my teeth…while nursing a baby

Looking at Lucy as a big sister as she runs around with me, always my sidekick, helping with Will, and knowing that if Whit was there all the time I might miss seeing this side of her

Enjoying the time I get with my kids, and feeling sad that Whit is missing out on so much while he tries to provide for our family

Deciding at the end of the work day between trying to be healthy and work out, or get 30 more minutes with my kids

Relishing the time I have alone with my babies, while at the same time asking for help, and learning that I have friends that truly want to help me

Understanding the value of hired help

Understanding the value of “unpaid” help – help from friends who are not looking to be paid but do it because they actually love me and my kids, and knowing that I may not fully experience that if I had my husband home more

Knowing that this is a season, and there are SO many things about this season that I am going to miss so very much

Being so very thankful for everything we have, including our health

Enjoying those middle-of-the-night feedings because it’s the only time I get when it’s just me and baby, snuggling in the quiet with nothing else going on

And finally, telling myself, when I feel guilty about not spending enough time with my kids, or not getting to exercise, or not making the healthiest dinner, “I’m doing the best I can.”

To ALL the mamas out there, stay-at-home mamas, working mamas, single mamas, married mamas…we are all doing the best we can. Hang in there and love on your kids as much as you can!

 

 

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