The term “working mom” is funny to me. I mean, I am one of those. But what about the moms who don’t have paying jobs? As if they aren’t working, right? I’ve talked about this with my mommy friends. Stay-at-home, working, part-time, full-time…it’s all hard. Being a mom is hard!
Speaking from a working-outside-the-home mommy, though, once a day, I feel the “working mom” guilt wash over me. Lucy spends more of her waking hours in daycare than she does with me (yes, I’ve counted). She gets dropped off in the morning to a school where others will care for her, while I head off to my schools where I care for others’ children. The trade seems unnatural. Some mornings I just want to turn around so bad after dropping her off, run back in there, and steal her away for a day of fun! I feel like that’s the stuff that happens in the movies. Most days I’m counting the minutes until I can leave, then I get home and I’m trying to cram meaningful moments into a 2-hour period. And I know I’m lucky. Very lucky. I have a great schedule. I get more breaks than most. I am usually home with my child by 4:30. But it’s still tough.
Sigh. This was really not meant to be a venting post. In truth, most days I’m super proud of who my daughter is becoming despite my working mom-ness, or, partly, because of it? My girl is independent, social, and she Loves school. Loves with a capital L! We pull into the parking lot in the morning and she’s already squealing, “kids!” She can’t wait to see her friends. I’m beyond thankful for that. She started the toddler class this week (!!) and she is truly in her element. She would certainly not be experiencing all of these things if I were home with her. I know I don’t have the energy that her new teacher, Miss Becca, has, providing 8 hours of pretend play, outside time with other kids, a daily art project, circle time (today they practiced some Spanish and learned about the globe!), and musical instrument exploration. All around, Lucy is not lacking in stimulation or snuggles (even if they aren’t all from me). And with all that, she still drops whatever she’s doing when she sees me in the afternoon, and runs to me like it’s been ages and ages since we’ve seen each other. I love that part of our day! And I desperately need to let go of the guilt. I know it doesn’t help anything. I know it doesn’t make our relationship better. Lucy, I hope, as a working woman, I make you proud. I hope I set a good example for you. I hope you know one day how much I try to be the best mommy for you. That would make it worth it!